Illustration by Tim Shumate
Born in Yokohama and now based in France, artist Hina Aoyama masterfully cuts details into sheets of paper to create these super fine, lacy, and fragile artworks. Her work conveys such things as the delicacy of small butterfly wings, the fine script of a handwritten letter, and the details of a lotus flower. Using just a simple pair of scissors, Aoyama says her passion is, “to create a finest cutoff beyond the level of the very time-consuming needle lace making.”
it’s been awhile since I ranted. and i don’t know what the reason is I’m doing it now. Possibly I’m being a lazy ass and the one thing that could possibly be a “good reason” to not do laundry or take that necessary shower is to pour my unspeakable thoughts into another infamous tumblr post. Maybe it’s because I’m feeling anxiety because I’ve seen my boyfriend every day for two weeks straight and now he’s away in Kansas and sex isn’t there to calm my nerves (haha). Or maybe it’s because I’ve gotten a moment by myself to get overwhelmed by the life that’s looming and I have nothing to distract me anymore.
It scares me most if I’m attached. Attached to another person who has the real possibility to make me feel things that I’m not responsible for. If they didn’t exist, I wouldn’t have the possibility of any kind of broken heart. It bothers me even more so that when I listen to Death Cab for Cutie, now I think of him. I think of laying next to him. feeling his alcohol stained breath against my face. his chest rising up and down. his never ending obsession with touching me and holding me so close. He makes me so angry and irritated, but at the same time, I can’t be more grateful to have him. I don’t really believe in “forever”, but it’s nice to be his penguin, his “forever” right now.
And I don’t know what it is causing me anxiety.
My best friend Kyle leaving for a really long time to Southern California? Knowing that he’s not going to be around to just hang out at any time/day. He’s one of the coolest guys I know. He can make me laugh and even better: laugh at myself.
Maybe it’s the fact that I’ve left Urban Outfitters? Well… I haven’t “left”. But stepping down was a big smack of change in my life. I’m not there every day: folding/hanging clothes, being someone’s bitch, showing superficial, materialistic shoppers where this or that is, being tired/depressed/bored and no one giving a fuck. There’s too much to be happy about that. At the same time, this feeling of letting people down shadows me. I’ve lost benefits. I’ve lost a “full time” job. I didn’t have a job AND I didn’t finish school. It makes me feel like a failure. And it scares the shit out of me. Before Urban, I never thought I was much of a commitment person and now that I’ve left, it feels like I’m back to being that person again. And it scares the shit out of me. It’s weird to ask myself “where do you think you’ll be in ten years”… or even in five years… and I’m dumbfounded. I have no FUCKING idea. I just assume: “probably homeless” or with hopes: dead in ditch.
And now there’s this new job. I feel confident even when I fuck up. I feel happy with the people I’m surrounded by. I feel good about myself. And I’m a control desk person at a high class bowling alley. But what’s so great about that? MOTHERFUCKING TIPS. Why aren’t tips included everywhere? It’s amazing. I hope I never get sick of this job. But even the stresses of angry customers ain’t so bad. With this: I’m happy. (besides the commute - which really isn’t bad either).
AH. but then the stress really seeps in: money. And now I don’t feel typing anymore. I just want to sleep.
AIRE is a mask that converts wind energy (provided by the wearer’s breath) into electricity for the recharging of small electronic devices - by João Paulo Lammoglia
